Sounds like first song ever.
Ya, you know...it has that... that "i'm new" feeling to it. It's sorta lacking in melody, well not lacking but you seem to be just putting in randomn notes. Drums are hot though. Melody made my ears bleed, drums made me dance. And though this is ur first, and I know for a fact you have now made many better, I'm still going to give advice. The beggining few notes weren't bad, if you can't come up with alot of good melody, just repeat a small very very good melody and people won't say "boo, you can't think of nothing better", they'll say, "Yay, an encore!" Then right before the repeat happens so much that it starts to get boring, add a little variation. Now you got their attention again, then, change directions on em. Boom! A completely different melody, and they didn't see it coming, they're going "Wooooah!" It's like a roller coaster ride, now ya have to make the newer melody better than the first, that's the hard part. Them drums, keep em steady, they can even doo the same thing and repeat the whole time or add variation, the drums only need to make em dance if the melody is taking them on a ride. Then ya take em back home with the melody u started off with. You know about tonic? That's usually the note u start on and the one you end on, like a loop, or a roller coaster ride, it ends where it begins...but not always ;)